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Office Office

What it feels like .....

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

Manohar Sing and obama

Manohar Sing and obama are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Manohar Sing and obama?"

The barman says "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"

obama says, "We're planning world war 3"

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

And Manohar Sing says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

Manohar Sing turns to obama and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!

This one was sent to me by a friend...really makes sense

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.



A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long." they answered in unison.



"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"


The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"



"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives.


In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.

We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted,
"I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!


You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."


"And after that?"


"With the extra money the larger boat will bring,
you can buy a second one and a third one
and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.


Instead of selling your fish to a middle man,
you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants
and maybe even open your own plant.


You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City !

From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."



"How long would that take?"


"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.


"And after that?"


"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"


"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.

"After that you'll be able to retire,



live in a tiny village near the coast,


sleep late, play with your children,


catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife


and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.

English magic

Santa & the Priest

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic."

Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.

The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:

"Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb

but now dears.... you are a potato and tomato"!!!

Make Sure

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called his family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test; which he could perform and give them a better idea about her hearing loss.     “Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”   That evening, when his wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, he was in the drawing room, standing about 40 feet away from her.     “Honey, what’s for dinner?”, he asked in a normal tone. No response! So he moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still there was no response. Next, he moved into the dining room where he was placed about 20 feet from his wife and asked the same question. Still further, he didn’t get his awaited response. He now walked up to the kitchen door which was another 10 feet away and asked “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again no response! So he walks up and whispers behind her “Honey, what’s for dinner?” “Steve, for the fifth time I’ve said, “Chicken”. “Do you have some hearing problem?”     Sometimes, the problem may not be with the other person as we always think; it could be within us. Let’s look within ourselves before we find fault with others.

Alcholic & Non-alcholic

In a small town in America, a person decided to open up his bar business, which was right opposite to a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the bar and it was burnt to the ground.
The church folk were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the bar owner sued the church authorities for $ 2million on the grounds that the church through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. In support of their claim they referred to the Benson study at Harvard that inter-cessionary prayer had no impact !

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork and at the hearing and commented:

"I don't know how I am going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church and it's devotees that doesn't."

Nizam's Footwear and Pandit Madan Mohan Malaviya

Madan Mohan Malaviya was a freedom fighter, author, editor & publisher of newspapers, educationist, staunch Hindu. He is credited with popularising the slogan "Satymeva Jayate". He was the first one to establish a private university in India which is based on the model of historical Nalanda, Takasheela Vidya Peethams.

When Malaviya was trying to build a good university, he had to overcome many difficulties and barriers. He worked with determination to start the university. There was a funds crisis; but he did not get disheartened. He went from town to town, met many rich people and traders to collect donations.

He went to the Nizam of Hyderabad(then reputedly the richest man in the world) to request him for funds. The Nizam was furious, " How dare you come to me for funds and that too for a Hindu University? " He roared with anger, took off his footwear and flung it at Malaviya.

Malaviya picked up the footwear and left silently. He went directly to the market place and began to auction the footwear. As it was Nizam's footwear, many came forward to buy it. The bids kept going up.

When Nizam heard of this, he became uneasy. He thought it would be an insult if his footwear were to be bought by someone for a pittance. So he sent one of his attendants with the instruction, 'Buy that footwear no matter whatever the price be!'

Thus, Malaviya managed to sell the Nizam's own footwear back to him, for a huge amount. He used that money to build the BanarasHinduUniversity.
Moral of the story : It does not matter what you have, but how you make use of what you have, in your life.

Amazing grace!

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed!

The Lord has promised good to me,
his word my hope secures;
he will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The world shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun refuse to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
bright shining as the sun,
we've no less days to sing God's praise
than when we'd first begun.

One of my favourite poetry

This poem was a part of our curriculam at school.....got it after a long time...

छोड़ घोंसला बाहर आया,
देखी डालें, देखे पात,
और सुनी जो पत्‍ते हिलमिल,
करते हैं आपस में बात;-
माँ, क्‍या मुझको उड़ना आया?
'नहीं, चुरूगुन, तू भरमाया'

डाली से डाली पर पहुँचा,
देखी कलियाँ, देखे फूल,
ऊपर उठकर फुनगी जानी,
नीचे झूककर जाना मूल;-
माँ, क्‍या मुझको उड़ना आया?
'नहीं, चुरूगुन, तू भरमाया'

कच्‍चे-पक्‍के फल पहचाने,
खए और गिराए काट,
खने-गाने के सब साथी,
देख रहे हैं मेरी बाट;-
माँ, क्‍या मुझको उड़ना आया?
'नहीं, चुरूगुन, तू भरमाया'

उस तरू से इस तरू पर आता,
जाता हूँ धरती की ओर,
दाना कोई कहीं पड़ा हो
चुन लाता हूँ ठोक-ठठोर;
माँ, क्‍या मुझको उड़ना आया?
'नहीं, चुरूगुन, तू भरमाया'

मैं नीले अज्ञात गगन की
सुनता हूँ अनिवार पुकार
कोइ अंदर से कहता है
उड़ जा, उड़ता जा पर मार;-
माँ, क्‍या मुझको उड़ना आया?
'आज सुफल हैं तेरे डैने,
आज सुफल है तेरी काया'